Friday, December 23, 2005

Who is your importance?

Would u be happier to celebrate the festive wit ur loves one or having fun outside with others if u married/ attached? Actually not so wan to jot this unhappy event down as since attached till married today, those festive season I also celebrate alone with family without him around.

So till now I dunno what is the different feeling celebrate with the loves one before n aft married….I’m so admire those hubby/bf who are so called stick to his loves one during those importance day, but he dun really hav the heart to b wit me, I dunno why…I only know how I feel the best during my birthday.

For every holiday, he will think n follow of his own plan to go on, he never discuss what we wan to do, with who n how to do…all we are doing is own own decision…n also all he wan is I got to follow his plan…not even once we go out together with all my own frens for movies, dinner or outing..all the while his fren is top priority…I know he hav been good in rejecting all his fren invitation to clubbing, partying n karoaking the few months aft married, I dunno how many times of gathering he wan in a year….all weekend we hav own activities…not doing things together..

Tomolo is the Christmas eve, and the carol team will b at my home for the very first time. I hav invited both of my family members n church carol team to celebrate the eve together. Estimate to hav about 40 over ppl around. He hav his earlier plan to go gathering wit bunch of his fren at Genting on the eve. This Christmas eve small party, I really very excited to having it, I plan out everything by myself, from shop for thing to buy, decorating the home, buying gifts and wrap up all 40 over small gifts. All I done by myself….my both thigh muscle were swelling last 2 days..may b walk too much n carry a bit heavy (luckily my ex-colleague were helping me)…I hope I still can stand on it, by the blessing n mercy of God…

Tomolo another busy day…I got to b host alone for the eve and answer uncountable time of questioning of where is he. I dunno how it feel again….aft married first Christmas without hubby around n got to be alone with others…thought I will be happy, coz now I can get to feel the eve at our own hut with my love one n others, but the rest of the hour u will know how I feel aft the crowd go n the eve is over…the whole Silent night is really silent n lonely to me.

I understand that friends in life are still important too aft get married, but can we do things together n not separately n having own own plan n decision? i dunno how many years i need to wait for to hav this special feeling…I love Christmas, I love Christmas tree and hav the one I love to share wit me…I hope I can control my feel on tomolo night…

Brandon, thanks for clearing up the hut before u go, hope u hav ur great time wit ur lovely fren without me.

Peace Christmas to you…


My Life Journey (II) said...

Take it easy, maybe next year when your little baby arrives, all of you can go for a nice little Christmas Vacation together :)

A friend said...

When the person is not spending that important day with you doesn't mean he's neglecting you or what. It's just that he probably needs to have some time for his own to mix with friends.
One common mistakes among couples are that one party always has wrong expectations out of another one, while the other party might not be aware at all. So we might as well just take it easy, and let the loves one to do what they want to do, without forcing each other to make decisions that will affect the opposite party.
Given that it's not a serious mistake, is it a better idea to maintain the peace and tolerate each other?