Thursday, April 08, 2010

Stressful meal time again!

Since baby time, I don't face any problem feeding Terry. Those days his meal time was simply a bliss and very happy to see him eating one spoon after another.

Come to these days since 6 months ago or longer, the no-appetite and not-like-to-eat is just phase in phase out. He has been eating slow, keep the chewed fine food in mouth, don’t want to swallow and show no appetite during meal time. So far what I cook, what he ate, he is not a picky eater when comes to Chinese food. Not a single day (good day, sick day..rarely) he can finish his meal time within 30-45 minutes. If I'm not cook or dining out, I got to think twice. Get prepared that he refused to eat or eat very little, most of the time I prefer to pack the food back home and take his own sweet time to eat.

It is really a stressful time for me to feed him from a hot bowl turn to a cold bowl. Meal time for an hour or near 2 hours is normal for him. Numerous ways I have tried to please him eat and eat fast, but none of them seems work, from getting him boost appetite multi-vits, coax with choc, biscuits, let him do whatever he likes (play toys, watch TV, computer) till whack him up and etc...The most terrible was sometimes he can eat till he said "So tired.." and right away can fall asleep with food still kept in mouth.

Every single days I need to raise my voice or shout at him in order for him to eat. Thats was his daily side dishes already on my nagging. Not many days he can polish off his meal. Am I giving him too big portion? I'm using the feeding bowl which he used since baby, it is Anakku one with side handle. During his baby days, he can finish almost 3/4 full of it. Now his consumption cut down to half a bowl (rice+dishes) and yet he still cannot finish it! Sometimes 3-4 spoons or half of that half a bowl, he calls it enough.

I blame that is he took my gene on slow eating? He top me in this..I'm a slower eater when I'm young, but not as slow as him. How to stay in sane somemore in tolerate a poor eater? He really looks shrink these days especially after schooling days. Some said that they need time to adjust the schooling life and meal time may get effected too..but I don’t see others getting that bad.

Really blood boiling when you cook up some nice dishes yet he told you he don't want before eating! When asked what he want, he keep shaking his head. I have been threatened him that, no rice means no milk and not anything else. I just let him decide and call for food (other than milk). When I get really angry on that, he dares not to ask for it and I got to really give him a lesson, let him starve.

Last Saturday, lunch time as usual 1pm+. Since morning 8am had 7.5 oz of milk then fruits an hour+ before lunch time. We ate together till I finish mine, he only took 3 spoons then tell me he don't want! Can he be full already? This time I'm really fuming mad,

I push the bowl aside angrily and grab the feather duster whack down his buttock and thigh for 3 times. He got pain till jumping up then follow by I push him out to the balcony and shut the door and curtain. He cry, cry, cry there, not even dare to knock the door and ask to open like last few times. The whack leaving down a double line cane mark on his thigh.

He faced down crying there with his "comforter" (nappy cloth). I lock him out there for 45 minutes (sobbing for that long too), open the door later, he came in cry even louder and not wanted to stop. I threaten him again, when counted to 3, ask to Diam still not shut the crying, I hit again till he stop. After 3 times, he got it and hold back the sobbing. Am I a bad mum?

Continue to feed and he eat by force for another 45 mins later only successful finish the bowl of lunch. Eating time to him is really a torture time. It was almost 5pm by the time he finish. So what about milk time? Not making any for him since the lunch time drag till late, else problem again when dinner time.

After this heavy lesson, last few days he seems getting better and attempt to feed himself. I just let him do it and I continue feed if he stop. Strictly threaten that, completely off TV even not watching when on during dinner time. He doing that very well, once saw me serving dinner, he will switch it off immediately even he is watching his favorite cartoon, then happily came and told me he has done that and sit on the dining table get ready for meal.

His lack interest on meal also causing his immune system went low lately, as I found that he easily get running nose and easily get tired. While I'm writing this post, he has past his 4 hours nap.

* Updated on his eye stye: *
It is getting smaller by days and shows sign of rupture with the white spot popping out.


Mummy Gwen said...

Meal time is stress time for me too. Gwen's getting worse nowadays..keeping food in the mouth also. I'm always screaming at her to eat her rice. Gwen takes almost 3/4 bowl of the normal bowl of rice.

Aiyo..pity Terry kena locked out at the balcony. Mummy don't be too hard on him lah. I hope Terry appetite get better. Glad to know his eye is recovering.

Kristie said...

Judy, relax!!! Pity terry lah.... I understand how u feel... we whip up nice dishes and when i think ur child will enjoy them, it really pisses u off when they dont!

I've learned to let go in that regard after what my paed told me: just let him eat whenever he wants, when he is hungry/full, he will tell u... so that is my cue for now.

Kristie said...

sorry, it's when u think, not i :)

Bryan and Brandon's Mama said...

Does Terry snack in between alot? Even if it is fruits, the paed advise not giving them any snacks/food at least 2hrs before mealtimes so that their appetite is built up. But don't be too hard on Terry lah. Even as adults, sometimes we got big appetite, sometimes we don't have. The body is made by God such that we won't unintentionally starve ourselves. I think if you associate all the bad stuff with mealtimes, it will get only worse. That's my opinion, lah.

mNhL said...

Cool down mummy. Meal time for me is also very stressful when I have to feed 2 at the same time !! Nowadays, my boy improved but my baby girl refused to eat anything except for those snacks. When she eat a spoonful of rice, she will use her tounge to push all the food out. Make my volcano errupted! But I once heard a doc advise on not too worry if the kids do not eat a lot. They will not starve themself. Can give him bread / cakes instead? Not everyday but substitue with those when he does not want to eat rice? At least he ate something. Or cook noodles or mee suah?

Don't hit your child when they don't eat. That will only makes you feel bad and the child inhale more wind from crying. Don't offer too big bowl at a go. Can always top up whenever he finished that small portion.

mommy to chumsy said...

*sigh* really stressful. is he full from the fruits taken one hour before meal? maybe you could stop giving him that before lunch. it is also good to stop giving him snacks in between. poor terry and poor you too. ashley is also a very slow eater and couldn't finish her plate each time :(

vickylow said...

Hmm this happen to me too. But these few weeks getting better after the "Princes Chloe" story. Another way to make her chew and swallow faster is chatting haha. Weird?? Hoop on my blog and check it.

Alice Law said...

Poor mommy and poor boy...

Normally I would praise my girl when she is taking her meal slowly, "Wah, Juan Juan so "pannai"... only a few spoon left!". Then she would eagerly take a few spoons more... :)

Have a pleasant weekend!

ChloeRuoyi said...

You are not a bad mummy la... it is very, very frustrating and we all know that feeling. Have you tried de-worming him?

My heart sank when I saw the feather duster (I used to dread this when young) and how Terry kena whipped until lying on the balcony... poor thing! Aunty sayang back ok, Terry *hugs*

Lemonjude said...

Mummy Gwen: She can finish 3/4 that much is very good already la..u need not to scream anymore..mine only take spoons portion. He can finish half a normal bowl, I happy already.

This anger to let out already keep and be patient for so long...even my parent's also tak boleh tahan for he not eating.

Kristie: I have been very patient to him, not to push him to eat and stop when he say don't want. Even let him decide what to eat, he also don't want, thats the problem. Really hard to let go seeing him getting thin.

Bryan and Brandon's mama: No, I not allow any snack to him at anytime of the days seldom he can munch on that. I hope he remember this lesson and I don't want to repeat the whole episode again.

mNhl: I did try to cook variety of mee, noodle, rice, dishes, none of those seems he interested. Even offer bread/cake/fruits also don't want. So headache and cracking me for what goes into his tummy.

mommy to chumsy: I was giving him half an apple that day and normally I don't allow any snack in between.

vickylow: chatting not works for Terry, he'll shift all food to the side and chat with you, lagi slow eating..

Alice Law: Thanks for following my blog. Ya, I praised my boy that too, but not works for all time. Sometime I reward him something like choc, juices when he can finish within the time frame.

ChloeRuoyi: He don't want to stand while crying, so I drag him out and he lay down to cry. Maybe I should try de-worm, will check with his paeds one day.

Agnes said...

I am also having problem feeding my younger girl, 1-2 spoons say full already but ask for milk a minute later, she always gives excuses not to eat. But eating Maggi Mee is not a problem, making me speechless...

to tackle the problem I have to ask her what she likes to eat.

Anyway so long as the child eat something and drink milk they will not starve, it would be a good idea to deworm.

slavemom said...

U're vy patient edi. If everyday I've to spend more than 1 hr to feed my boy his meal, I wud've exploded long long time ago. Really dun u'std kids, y they go thru phases like this. Hope this torturing phase will pass soon. Hv u tried any of those appetite boosters?
And glad to know his eye stye doesn't need any medical procedure.

LittleLamb said...

I got a feeling that i will end up like u one day n philip will end up like terry one day. at this moment, the feeding is left to the maid. i hv no patience lor... for me, when i do really need to feed, i will feed. once he show no interest, i ignore it. when he is really hungry, he will finish .

smallkucing said...

Hi! 1st time coming to your blog thru Irene's recommendation.

Wow.My boy also baru kena rotan. Throw tanturm. :(

Health Freak Mommy said...

From my experience with my #2, she will only eat slow or don't want to eat if she's not feeling well or if it's rice + dishes. Give her pasta, spaghetti or noodles, she will whack everything in a jiffy! Dont cane him lar, so pitiful.

Serene said...

I think most mother experience this. I can understand how frustrated it could be when the little one refuse to eat or eat super slow... Xixi also giving me this problem every now and then, she takes at least 30mins-45mins to finish her meal.

Pity Terry lah... maybe he really got no appetite to eat? You try de-worming and see how... I hope his appetite get better, and Judy, relax..... k.

Mummy to QiQi said...

Judy, i have got 2 here, if tat makes u feel better ....*feel like banging myself against the wall and just die*!!!